Carry On Abroad

We are two weeks into summer vacation now, and we have spent most of our time working in the yard. Our garden is huge and is putting out at least, a ton, (A TON!) of veggies. It is great since we have little to spend on food.

My natural reaction to my wife having time off is to travel. This year is no exception; but travel this year is less likely to happen, not just because of gas prices. We have our livestock to take care of, our garden and yard still needs maintaining and, well, the major thing for me is getting myself acclimatized to Eugene.

Yes, I am still a bit homesick for Utah, (many ex Utahans don't get this.....sometimes I don't either) I can't put my finger on "one" reason why I miss the place; still the fact that I miss it remains; I also miss the SF Bay area.

So, staying put is a pretty good idea for me. If I visit Utah it will just feed my malaise.

We were even planning a trip to Moab this year......sigh......
On another note, when I was looking for pictures of Moab, I found this NY Times travel article about Moab and its environs. Take a look at the slide show. Their photographer needs to get out more. From this slide show, one would think that the only thing to see in the entire area ,around Moab, is Delicate Arch....(I am rolling my eyes)....

Fathers Day

I knew , when I went to bed at 2:00 a.m., that Charlie would be up in five hours; he would not tolerate my sleeping much more than him. I knew, when my older son went to bed at 1:00 a.m. that staying up as late as he did, then sleeping late, he would wake up cranky; therefore moody and argumentative.

We don't really celebrate Fathers day or mothers day much. Mom does not get breakfast in bed, what she gets is a kiss on the cheek and a "Happy Mothers day." I get happy mothers day too, which I know has nothing to do with the givers gender confusion but with an acknowledgment of the type of work I do. (my equipment is what makes me dad and not mom)

I can't really expect much on fathers day. I can expect to have the same things expected of me that are expected me every day. Make breakfast and be ready to jump when something is requested of me.

What can I expect when we have all stayed up too late: I am depressed and whiny, my son argues with every suggestion I make, and my two year old, is, well, his normal bubbly, energetic, demanding, loud self.

So, I will slog through today and see if I can get a day off with my wife when school gets out.

Fun, Happy Marriages

One of my favorite "Happy " couples was on the Front page of the Vallejo Herald.

I know it is a big deal for them; when their daughter Lucy was born they had to go through tons of paperwork and they had to get a signature from the donor in order to have Marnie recognized as a parent. (getting him to sign was not so difficult) Anyway, hopefully , the process will be easier now for other same sex parents to be legally recognized as such.

Zen

I am amazed that there is so much written about nothing.

Genjo Koan

We are studying this writing by Dogen Zenji at our Zendo, so far it is one of my favorites. What I have noticed is that when you get right down to the fundamental point, the writing is all about sitting.

Despite that, I think I will keep reading.

I'll knock on wood

I am probably really inviting disaster with this post.....

I was busily moping about under our gray skies, a few minutes ago, when I thought about the amount of time I have spent being depressed verses actual tragedies I have experienced. I have had nothing catastrophic enough in my life to, I feel, to warrant the amount of sadness I have had. I think about the typhoon in Myanmar or, the people on the bridge in New Orleans. I think of my friend who is in mourning of her fathers recent death. These people deserve to feel hopeless, sad, in the pit of suffering.

It boggles my mind that I even had depression as a teen. OK, maybe my sadness was warranted I was, hopelessly shy, a magnet for bullies and even my attempts at being cool, and above the popular kids did not serve to lessen my pain. Now, I am truly above such things...yes?

To compound the sadness, I had a bit of guilt thrown in. I was not supposed to be sad. I was born into the one true Church.... I must have done something wrong. I realize that this is simplistic thinking but the message I remember getting was that, the truth made you happy.

When I was a kid, coming home from a bad day of school, I would put a Bauhaus tape into my stereo and listen to it loud. Loud dark music does not pull me out of a lull anymore. Neither does wishing something really awful would happen so, I could feel better about sadness.