Charlie is climbing.

Everything!!

A few weeks ago I heartily encouraged Charlie (the one year old) to climb the little "climbing wall" on the play structure at the park. Charlie more or less figured it out, he made it to the top, with a little help from me.

Either to impress me even more or he is just exploiting his new found skill to it's fullest; he has figured out that he can now climb the chairs and get on the kitchen table. While he was sitting on the table eating his sister's left over cereal I tried to explain to him that he was breaking the law. He just smiled and kept on doing what he was doing. I pulled him off the table and said "no more climbing on the table." he seemed intimidated....really.

The wife and I figure that he will continue to climb and eventually fall off. In thirty years he can work it out in therapy (sob.......why didn't they stop me.....sob)

Not my favorite way to spend Spring Break.

I can remember all those years ago when I was in high school being excited about the prospects of Spring Break. Spending the whole week camping in Southern Utah or just hanging out with friends in town. Now Spring break is totally different.

One of the nice things about being a high school teacher the wife gets all the same breaks as the kids, so she has the week off. Last year we spent that week visiting Eugene OR to see if we wanted to move here. Then we visited her mom for the last couple of days before driving back to Oakland.

This time we are not having as much fun. On Monday I had a minor surgery that will hopefully prevent my wife from ever getting pregnant again. So, I have spent the last two days sitting around. (that does not sound so bad) I hate it, I would rather be spending my wife's time off traveling with her or actually getting a bunch of yard projects done.

Sure I am getting time off from taking care of the kids but it is difficult for me to not want to help out while my wife struggles to get things done and take care of the kids constant needs.

21st Century Girl

Words that my three-year-old knows that I did not when I was six.

1) Sushi- This is number one. I knew about Chinese food, not Japanese. Of course in Utah no one that I knew of ate raw fish.

2) Cafe- Ok there were plenty of Cafes, at six I knew the word restaurant or Mc'Donalds. My daughters concept of cafe is very different from the one I had growing up. Cafes are where daddy gets lattes, which brings me to my next word.

3) Latte- I knew about coffee; to me it was something only Non-Mormons (bad people) drank. Lattes on the other hand were not something I knew anything about and I doubt that there was a single place in Utah( especially not Provo) in the mid seventies where one could be had. My six year old self would be utterly shocked that I partake of it.

4) cell phone- this one has less to do with culture and more to do with the advance of technology. I mean, my parents had no clue about PCs, VCRs etc.

I know there are many more words and concepts than this little list. I will re-post this when I hear them.

Wonders of Nature.

Today we went to the Willamette river park way and took a walk. While we were walking past the playground, after Ruthanne finished protesting our not going directly to the playground, she asked: " why did they build the river next to the playground" I asked why she thought they did. She replied " Playgrounds are a good place for rivers because they are beautiful".

I then explained that The river was there long before the playground. "you mean, like, TEN YEARS!" Longer......(she was stumped) " A Hundred? " At least. Ten is a really long time to her... one hundred is forever.

What are televisions for?

During my sons last visit to the Dr. He (the Dr.) explained that television is just plain bad for kids under three. I knew that the medical community has been urging parents to cut back the amount of hours that kids spend watching the tube but I did not know that they were suggesting none to the younger set.

His explanation is that TV gets in the way of a toddlers main job, exploring. Well this is not a problem in our house, we don't have a television and have no plans of getting one. The kids are absolutely free to explore, make a mess, chop wood clean floors....o0h ya and surf endlessly on the Internet for hours.

No we don't have television but we do have high speed dsl. The wife was sick the other day, she spent most of here time looking at things like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX_dGiPV6P8

She is not the only one guilty, in our house, of spending a lot of time on the Internet. I am here a lot and I am possibly more addicted to it than I was to TV, the amount of actual time is much less.( I used to spend hours in front of television)
Fortunately though this does not affect the kids as much. They are not terribly interested or enthralled with much of the content that I view. (mostly blogs) So, while I am sitting here reading short blog articles about someone else's kid's pooping habits; my kids are running around exploring the medicine cabinet.......oooops.

I Miss Oakland

Let me qualify that statement; I don't miss the loud cars, the traffic the thugs on High street and in city hall. (Maybe with Ron Dellums this will change, I did vote for him with the hope that he would bring some unity to this diverse city. (Real diversity is a difficult thing, especially when people would rather stick their tongues out at anyone whom is slightly different than have a civil conversation or debate.))

I digress, I don't miss being in traffic for four hours a day, and I don't miss Kyles mom. Mainly I miss all the people who were friends or becoming friends. I miss the East Bay Dads (and Camille), they are always good for breaking the isolation of full time parent hood and helping to expand your beer pallette. So far there is no Eugene dads, the two or three at home dads I have met did not seem at all interested in getting together. They seemed to enjoy being the ground breaking maverick at the Library story time. (This is where parents "network")

I miss the neighborhood playgroup, possibly filled with the hippest moms in the known universe. We almost never talked about accessorizing the baby or compared prices on strollers; if ever anyone bragged about a baby gear find it was because they got it for free or from GoodWill. The few moms that I have met don't seem interested in including us in any of their activities.

Ironically, a couple of the coolest parents I have met are also "from" the bay area. Could it be, that living in a place where there is so much negative crap going on, it makes you more willing to accept and even befriend someone who is a bit different?

All About the One year old.

Charlie is now a bit past his 13 month birthday. (Strange how we classify babies birthdays; I mean, at 35 when you are asked how old you are you don't reply: " I'm Four-hundred-twenty Months old.") I didn't get it and I could not keep track with the first two kids. It's easier for me now) They change a lot from month to month besides when someone asks, especially another parent, it is a point of pride to tell them your kids age while they watch your child flawlessly run circles around their 14 month old. ( parents are not known to brag about their child's development. ("little Charlie is only thirteen months old and he has climbed Kilimanjaro, did I mention the counter-proof he wrote on string-theory.")

At 35 change does happen but is so subtle that it takes work to notice it. We don't always notice that we are changing until it seems huge. (nothing really drastic is happening. This blog was supposed to be about Charlie.)

Charlie started walking about a month before his first birthday and has gone form walking to running, dancing and spinning in circles. (funny how babies resemble Dead-Heads) When I took Chas to his one month check-up, the Doctor handed me one of those development check-listies. ( Does your child pick up things and put those things in things? Has your child figured out how to take those plastic "safety locks" off the Poison cupboard doors? (Chas does this, I am embarrassed to say I am proud that he has thwarted mommy and daddies Fascist ways).

The Dr. asked me if Chas was walking with help, ( I had Chas on my lap). It took me a second to reply; when I eventually did I said "no." As the Doctor told that I should not worry, Chas would learn to walk without help; Chas jumped out of my lap and ran to the exam table to inspect the electrical chord and socket. (That kid has perfect timing)

There is so much more I could say but, right now, Charlie is stuck in his chair at the kitchen table demanding to be fed.

blogging

As is usual for me, I have been trying to write a thought provoking entry on drinking during play groups, nothing is happening. " Are you dead upstairs"? you ask. Maybe because I haven't written anything in so long.......(Charlie be gentle with the cat!)...Crises averted.....where was I..hmmm... Oh ya .....(Ruthie! Put your diaper in the...No I don't want it....put in the garbage...in the ....you can you are a big girl) ....ok yes something thought provoking... The phenomenal and the absolute are two sides of the same thing, they are one mind...wait that's not it.

Something about why it is ok for parents to have a drink during playdates. Forget it, I need another cup of coffee. It's about socializing, it won't damage the kids if they see their parents drinking.
Unless, the parents are alcoholics of course; and the drinking is so excessive that the parents can't take care of the kids. Or let's say that people bring the kids to the "playdate" and plug their poor kids into the dvd player, and the only actual playing going on is between the parents.

Don't kill the poor kids brains, let them play, they will learn a lot more if they are free to run around.

Enough said.

Testimony Meeting

(I have a few short stories I worked on during a writing class; here is one I would love to publish.)

I wanted to beleive .

The church choir sings "Put your shoulder to the wheel." The bishop prays. He welcomes the congregation to come up in turn to bare their testimonies. After a few long seconds they begin to trickle up.

I am sitting in the pew thinking about Darth Vader's army and wondering if their spaceship will make it here. What would happen if the Empire tries to take over Earth? Would Luke Skywalker and the Rebellion save us?

Church members get up and speak about how God has touched them. They talk about things they have done that make them feel they are not worthy of Jesus' love. Everyone has a slightly different story but they always find that they do deserve his love.

Darth Vader could not kill his son. He killed Emporer Palpatine in order to save him. Vader's love for his son brings him back to being Anakin again.

A little boy gets up to bare his testimony. His mom comes along to help. She whispers in his ear, then he speaks : "I know Joseph Smith is a true prophet. I know Jesus loves me. I am grateful for my mom." He then realizes that he is standing in front of the whole congregation and freezes up. His mom picks him up and carries him back to their pew.

I want to get up. I walk up the aisle take the stand and talk into the microphone.
" Darth Vader is just like Jesus." I say.
My face turns red, palms start to sweat. My stomach turns into a knot.

"He let himself die to save his son... Luke Skywalker is us!" The people in the fornt row give me unsure grins. The other boys in the congregation start to snigger.

I stop. The congregation is silent, every exhale I take fills the air with my nervousness. I walk quickly from the podium and out of the church into the bright summer day.

It is warm, I loosen my tie and roll up my sleeves. I look at the mountains towering over our church. Clean and shimmering in the dry summer air. I wish I were up there, in the trees, drinking snow melt.

My sister appears from inside the church, she finds me and tries to bring me in. I sit defiantly on the freshly watered grass.

I tell her that I just wanted to talk but all I could think about was Star Wars.

Another Edifying post about me!!

I am 44% Punk Rock.

Well, I may know what punk is, but... Okay maybe some people think I am punk, but is that enough? Nope.

Take the
Punk Rock Test
@ FualiDotCom

I already knew this. And I did not have to take yer #@$$%$ test to find out. I don't have the Ramones vinyl but I do on tape. Now I am going to put safety pins in my ear lobes and listen to 7 seconds.

I am 51% Goth.

Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a good chance I am bi. Freakiness pumps through my viens, but I can still laugh at myself.

Take the
Goth Test
@ FualiDotCom

Yes I "was" Goth....And I would like to point out that I was More Goth than this Idiotic test. I mean what is The Crow and why did they not ask any questions about the Hunger instead? Now I am going to put on my Bauhaus album, burn some candles and read the Raven.

Transition.

I was in the middle of packing boxes for our big move to our wonderful new house. The wife had started her new job teaching math, so it was just me and the two littlest: the three year old and the...lets see...crawling (yes) eight month old. ( Do you get the picture one is old enough to have developed reasons for doing things (making a mess) the other just does them without thinking at all.) There I was trying to pack and I have these two rushing headlong into the land of chaos. For every little thing I packed they unpacked three or four and scattered them all about the rental.

What did I do? Well I did what any sensible parent or person would do; I joined them. When their mother came home and took them to bed I packed and moved stuff.

I like babies, it's true. I suppose that is good since I am surounded by them (technically one is not a baby).
Babies are a blast to watch when they are learning to crawl, Charlie is learning to do this right now.
He sees a toy, a dried up peice of food or an electrical chord and decides (you can watch his expression change) he must have that electrical chord in his mouth. He gets all geared up and pushes himself backward, this is accompnied by all manner of squeeling and grunting. When He realizes that he is further from th electrical chord than he was when he started out, he looks up with that "please father, help me. I absolutely must have that chord in my mouth. Would you kindly pick me up and put me closer to it, so that I can experience the electrical chord more fully?" look.

At which point I pick up a suitable toy and put it within arms reach of him. This new toy becomes so exciting he has completley forgotton about the electrical chord or that great peice of dried spaghetti, whew.

I have a baby asleep on my chest. aaah.

House being sold

Our house is now on the Market whew. I actually will not begin breathing again until it is sold.

Here is a link to our house www.2900maxwell.com.

Anyway, we were going to wait until it sold to try buying another home but.... My wife saw a house here in Eugene that she loooooves, She could not just let it go, so we put an offer on it. The offer was accepted ( a funny aside. It all happened at the Oregon Country Fair. We put the offer in Last Friday ( seventh of July) before we went to the fair because the sellers wanted to look at and decide on an offer before they went to the fair. Later that evening right before the fair closed our realtor met with the sellers realtor at the Fair drum tower. He then met the sellers at the same place when they gave him the news.)

We are all loving life here in Eugene, I have gotten more exercise here than I did in Oakalnd and I have stopped using the car on a daily basis. (We will see how that works when it starts raining again.)

Movement

We have moved! Yes, the sweetened condensed, canned version is that we packed up a couple of trucks and moved to the great Northwet. We have been in Eugene for about two weeks; it still feels like a vacation to me.

I just arrived back from Oakland, I had to go down so that I could check out the house a week before it goes on the market. The trip was to be an easy one, the boy and I drove down on Sunday spent the night at a friends house; then,on Monday morning I planned to go look at the house, spend a couple of hours tying up last minute things and finally socialize with friends or maybe even go to a show or two or three. But no! ( to anyone who is having thier house worked on in order to sell it, meaning you have a deadline, supervise the workers from start to finish, I made the mistake of assuming that the guy I hired was taking care of everything I had asked him to.)

I walked into the house at 10:00 Monday morning and did not stop working until 11:30 Monday night. Then on Tuesday (Independance Day) I spent three hours in the morning, while the painter took the day off, and three hours in the evening working at my house. I had planned to spend Independance day being independant of course. I did mange to go to a Barbeque for about four hours though, so all was not lost, I just did not get to see any fire works.

Then the fifth ( Wednesday) the day of our deadline, I showed up at my house around 9:00 am, the painter did not show until 10:00. I told him the day before that I had to leave the house at 2:00 so I could drive back to Eugene (about 650 miles from Oakland) and that I needed everything done by then. He left at 1:00 for lunch and did not come back untio 2:30. in the interim I hired my neighbor (who is also in the remodeling biz) to go to my house and be me so I could come home.

Great new addictions.

The new baby is not so new, he is now a healthy, robust almost four-month-old.
( I know a lot of people who can tell you, if you dare ask, how many weeks and days their young babies are. I consistantly lose count after the third week and revert to " he's a month old" or "almost four-months.") He is still a very smiley baby.

About a month ago his sister had pneumonia we spent a hellish week staying indoors (it was also raining) while she recooperated. During this time I became hopelessley addicted to a web based game called Puzzle Pirates. (I am not including the link because I don't want to be held responsible for new addicts.) When you sign up to play you get this little piraty character that looks vaguely like a Lego person dressed in pirate clothes. You play a series of puzzles connected to sailing a ship, building ships, swordfighting and drinking. Your little character makes pirate money and can buy things like ships, houses, clothes and swords.

It is far to much fun and life like. Any way after Ruthie had her pneumonia The little one came down with a fever and was found to have Bronchialitis, he spent two days in the hospital. So he is this really pleasant kid but he has to go and get sick. Of course with two sick kids I spend another week waiting for them to get well and fall deeper into game addiction.

Toddler: " I like to use a boat to wash my hair and sometimes ducks."

The look of the oppressed.

Today the 2 1/2 year old was attempting to set up camp in the middle of the kitchen floor. She had a large blanket spread out and was about to bring all her gear (despite the fact that the entire living room is dedicated to her toy's) when I stopped her.

"Please don't spread the blanket on the kitchen floor." In my most reasonable tone of voice.

"Why?" (Hey who the F*** are you man.)

Then she gives me this look of the eternally oppressed. (My people have been suffering for years. I must have the blanket and all my stuff here.)

I reapeted my request again, she replied: " No, I want it here."

I tried logic next. "you have the whole living room to play in, take it in there." Then without a word the ten-year-old walks in and says to the toddler "Hey you can use this as a cape." Problem solved, the blanket comes off the floor, toddler runs out of the room as a super hero.

Beat Dad.

Beat Dad.

So, after two months with my wife home she has gone back to work and things are "normal" at home. The house stays dirty, the kids's diapers don't get changed and I don't get dressed and nobody complains.

Parenting: More Fun Than A Night Club With A Barrell O Monkeys

Charlie is almost two months old and man, am I sleepy.

He smiles now , it is not just gas, he looks at us grins and coos.

Now we are juggling two younger children and the needs of a ten year old boy who is trying to figure out algebra and have a good time.

It is easy for me sometimes to resort to fantsizing that I stopped after the oldest was born and imagine all the things that I could be doing in a couple with one part time kid. (I coulda' bin a sta) Oh well.

My wife and I went out on a date a week ago to see Rev. Billy C. Wirtz...now..ok yer saying. A date wow.... This is a big deal. We did not leave the 2 year old with a sitter until she was 2, the sitter was my mom. We left Chuckles with a sitter at the ripe old age of 6 weeks. The sitter in this case was not remotely related (not entirely true, we come from the same town and the same religion) Anyway DW(dear wife) commented, that it is a shame that we have been living in the SF Bay area for six years and have not gone out to many shows. We have been busy having kids, which is energy sapping and financially intensive.

We could have gone to all kinds of shows if we had stuck with the part-time parent model.