I am a bit frustrated. I am not a teacher or the parent of a High school student; I am, however the husband of a high school teacher. Having been the spouse of a teacher for seven years I think that I would be used to the abuse that teachers get and could just be loving toward my wife when she gets home and not be upset about all the stuff she has to deal with.
....No, it is not that easy.
I am guessing that the only people that are reading this blog, who live in Eugene, already know my wife and have maybe heard the story. Please pass this on, hopefully, any parents who have kids going into the public schools will read it.
When I met her she was just finishing up her B.A. In Math education at UC Santa Cruz; not only did she graduate with honors but was well liked by her professors and fellow students. She was passoinate about teaching, especially, to those who did not have much social capital.
She chose to get her credential at Mills College in Oakland; one of the top two teaching schools in California.
She graduated from Mills and went straight to teaching at a middle school in our neighborhood. Though is was difficult she did well and so did her students. She taught there for five years then moved to Eugene. She has been teaching High school for the past year and things have not been going well for her.
Within the first couple of months she had several (seems that way from my perspective) students request to drop her class. She had parents complaining about her banning calculators and that their kids were not passing. This seemed to go on for some time with her coming home feeling depressed and incapable of teaching. She also did not feel that she was getting support from her principle but when asked how her department head felt, she would perk up and say that her department head liked her.
Finally, at some point in January, a retired math teacher came in to observe her class. Her report was that she was doing a great job and is a competent math teacher. That lifted her spirits for some time and things were much better for a few months. Now that the school year is winding down one would think that things would get better. She is having more kids dropping her classes, she has had one really difficult parent conference, and has been coming home in tears almost every day.
Granted, I am not a student in her class, I am biased. The only times that I have directly experienced her teaching is when she helped me with my algebra classes and when she tutored our eleven year old. ( I passed with an A, and my son knows his multiplication tables and is doing well in his pre algebra classes.)
When she comes home feeling like dirt and tells me that her students are just smirking at her because they know that mom and dad will pull them from her class if they blame her for their bad grades; it puts me into a very bad mood. She had one parent insist that she be suspended from teaching.
It just seems so utterly pathetic to me. How can they really be blaming her for their kids failure? If their kids are not doing well they need to look at what their kids are doing wrong and look at what they are doing wrong. Teachers are professionals they have studied what they are teaching and are aware of the standards.
Maybe things will be easier next year.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Rampant Animal Abuse
Yes, the title does suggest that the end is near, the sky is falling.....( I don't really think that)
What does this article say about our society. Is this an isolated problem, geographically speaking, or is this type of thing something that happens all over.
What leads people to do this sort of thing? Is it boredom? Lack of self respect? It could be any number of reasons. It comes down to the availability of a weapon.
What does this article say about our society. Is this an isolated problem, geographically speaking, or is this type of thing something that happens all over.
15 goats in herd grazing on brush shot, killed
The Bay Area has not had a mass shooting like those in Columbine and Virginia tech for reasons I can only speculate about. And the explanations for those events were that the killers were disturbed. Senseless killings happen there, one of the consolations for some of Bay area residents is that shooting victims are usually gang members. Why does it make a difference? Sure if you are not involved in that life you are less likely to get shot. However if someone can just shoot a bunch of goats what is to prevent them from doing the same to people?What leads people to do this sort of thing? Is it boredom? Lack of self respect? It could be any number of reasons. It comes down to the availability of a weapon.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Why My Four Year Old Never Sleeps
Me: Ruthie, you look tired!
Ruthie: I can't sleep.
Me: But I saw you sleeping last night.
Ruthie: I was just resting my eye's.
Me: Why don't you like to sleep?
Ruthie: Because it makes my brain die.
Well, there ya go.
Ruthie: I can't sleep.
Me: But I saw you sleeping last night.
Ruthie: I was just resting my eye's.
Me: Why don't you like to sleep?
Ruthie: Because it makes my brain die.
Well, there ya go.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Am I a slacker mom?
I did that "what type of mom are you survey?" according to them I am a Zen mom. That their survey found that I am zen was not surprising but I am still not a mom.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Mothers Day
Mothers day at our house is a relatively quiet affair. The kids are still a bit young to really do anything for her and Charlie still does not know that he and mommy are not the same people.
I wish the wife a happy Mothers day then she calls her mom and I call mine.
What do I really know about my Mother? She brought six kids into the world; she wanted more.
She wanted to be a full time homemaker but by the time her last child was 3 years old she had to get a job.
That was disappointing to her for several reasons; She really believed that her place was at home making sure all six of her kids and her husband had an orderly place to live and healthy food to eat. From my perspective that is not such a bad thing to want even though her choice was heavily influenced by her religion, that is part of why it was devastating for her to have to work full time.
I was not a particularly bad kid; I always went to school, I would not have ever dreamed of missing church, i n that way she never really had to worry about me. What did cause her concern was that despite my good attendance at school my grades were always really low. (If you have read enough of my postings you may notice that my ability to punctuate is suspect).
Things got harder as I entered my teens. I struggled with depression and my (pop-psychology moment) self-esteem was low. I am not sure how much of this she was aware of. Moms, even dads, are pretty aware of how their kids are; it is what to do when your kids problems seem more complex than just hungry.
As I aged I became more interested in dance clubs, doing funny things with my hair and wearing black; I am positive that this made her worry. I don't know that she suspected it, but I do know that my school principle and maybe some people at church thought I was doing drugs. (I never tried anything until I was about 21.) By the time I was 16 my mom seemed pretty overwhelmed, not just by me, but by the demands of her other kids, my dads depression and suicide attempts, her job and probably by her wish that life would just go the way a faithful Mormons life should. (husband makes decent money, mom does not have to work out of the home.) Mom seemed to weather all of this fairly well. There were times when I could tell that she was sad; mostly, when there was bad news she would sigh and keep going.
When I did not go on an L.D.S. mission, I am almost positive that what insulated her from disappointment was that she must have realized that her kids were going to do what they chose regardless of what anyone else wanted. And the best that she could hope for, for me, was that
I would end up a happy, ethical, person with kids who she could visit. I have happily provided this for her and I can tell she is happy because when she visits she does not give me that disappointed look then sigh and walk away.
I wish the wife a happy Mothers day then she calls her mom and I call mine.
What do I really know about my Mother? She brought six kids into the world; she wanted more.
She wanted to be a full time homemaker but by the time her last child was 3 years old she had to get a job.
That was disappointing to her for several reasons; She really believed that her place was at home making sure all six of her kids and her husband had an orderly place to live and healthy food to eat. From my perspective that is not such a bad thing to want even though her choice was heavily influenced by her religion, that is part of why it was devastating for her to have to work full time.
I was not a particularly bad kid; I always went to school, I would not have ever dreamed of missing church, i n that way she never really had to worry about me. What did cause her concern was that despite my good attendance at school my grades were always really low. (If you have read enough of my postings you may notice that my ability to punctuate is suspect).
Things got harder as I entered my teens. I struggled with depression and my (pop-psychology moment) self-esteem was low. I am not sure how much of this she was aware of. Moms, even dads, are pretty aware of how their kids are; it is what to do when your kids problems seem more complex than just hungry.
As I aged I became more interested in dance clubs, doing funny things with my hair and wearing black; I am positive that this made her worry. I don't know that she suspected it, but I do know that my school principle and maybe some people at church thought I was doing drugs. (I never tried anything until I was about 21.) By the time I was 16 my mom seemed pretty overwhelmed, not just by me, but by the demands of her other kids, my dads depression and suicide attempts, her job and probably by her wish that life would just go the way a faithful Mormons life should. (husband makes decent money, mom does not have to work out of the home.) Mom seemed to weather all of this fairly well. There were times when I could tell that she was sad; mostly, when there was bad news she would sigh and keep going.
When I did not go on an L.D.S. mission, I am almost positive that what insulated her from disappointment was that she must have realized that her kids were going to do what they chose regardless of what anyone else wanted. And the best that she could hope for, for me, was that
I would end up a happy, ethical, person with kids who she could visit. I have happily provided this for her and I can tell she is happy because when she visits she does not give me that disappointed look then sigh and walk away.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
A Reply For The Alpha Mom
I have been thinking about the wonderful comment you left in reply to A View From The Non-Alpha Male.
At the end of your comment you asked: "Why are people so quick to judge."
I said that the Register-Guard article rubbed me the wrong way then did not articulate the reasons. I just went ahead as any bully would do and just put in that I would like to vandalize your house. My reaction was more to the article than it was to you so, maybe I should just puke on it. (it went into the recycle bin like all the other old papers)
From the article I perceived you as being someone who feels as successful as a parent as she felt at her career. Careers and parenting are, as I am sure you well know, completely different areas; not even comparable. The article suggested that you have pulled this parenting thing off with the help of technology and the ability to make play dough (Do you have a recipe for this? Is it edible?). This is why I judged you the way I did, that you commented the way you did, so early in the morning, makes me doubt my judgement.
To feel successful or even to have the appearance of being a successful parent is one that many parents covet. The marketing companies and diaper fabricators and the television companies know that and want to exploit it so that they can continue to be profitable. In my small family I have found that there is nothing that anyone can sell me that will make me feel on top of things. In fact technology tends to limit those precious parenting moments when you ...(gotta change a diaper) say " ahhh all is right with the world lets sing Khumbayah. " (We really did sing that yesterday)
Once you feel like you have a handle on things the rules change. One year Dr. Sears tells you that everything is fine and don't worry about your 6 month old's cough; then suddenly you are sitting in the principles office wondering why your 4th grader mouthed off to the teacher. (That happened; not with the same kid. There is nothing that can really prepare a person for parenting, I agree that some things can make it easier on a person: foolhardiness, confidence, a relaxed attitude, (yes the house is a wreck; but hey my kids are happy), someplace to get away from the house and relax (a good meditation hall works well for me).
With two kids at the ages of 1 and 4 (Same as mine) I am sure that you know quite well what I am talking about.
At the end of your comment you asked: "Why are people so quick to judge."
I said that the Register-Guard article rubbed me the wrong way then did not articulate the reasons. I just went ahead as any bully would do and just put in that I would like to vandalize your house. My reaction was more to the article than it was to you so, maybe I should just puke on it. (it went into the recycle bin like all the other old papers)
From the article I perceived you as being someone who feels as successful as a parent as she felt at her career. Careers and parenting are, as I am sure you well know, completely different areas; not even comparable. The article suggested that you have pulled this parenting thing off with the help of technology and the ability to make play dough (Do you have a recipe for this? Is it edible?). This is why I judged you the way I did, that you commented the way you did, so early in the morning, makes me doubt my judgement.
To feel successful or even to have the appearance of being a successful parent is one that many parents covet. The marketing companies and diaper fabricators and the television companies know that and want to exploit it so that they can continue to be profitable. In my small family I have found that there is nothing that anyone can sell me that will make me feel on top of things. In fact technology tends to limit those precious parenting moments when you ...(gotta change a diaper) say " ahhh all is right with the world lets sing Khumbayah. " (We really did sing that yesterday)
Once you feel like you have a handle on things the rules change. One year Dr. Sears tells you that everything is fine and don't worry about your 6 month old's cough; then suddenly you are sitting in the principles office wondering why your 4th grader mouthed off to the teacher. (That happened; not with the same kid. There is nothing that can really prepare a person for parenting, I agree that some things can make it easier on a person: foolhardiness, confidence, a relaxed attitude, (yes the house is a wreck; but hey my kids are happy), someplace to get away from the house and relax (a good meditation hall works well for me).
With two kids at the ages of 1 and 4 (Same as mine) I am sure that you know quite well what I am talking about.
Two Wheels.....No, Four Wheels Good
Today, as I was riding my bike with the kids in the Burley, I had a flashback. I was ten it was June, I was riding my bike down some road in West Jordan. I felt free like only a kid can feel.
In reality (yes, thats right, reality rears up it's ugly head) when I was ten I would not have been pulling a bike trailer with two kids whose combined weight is somewhere around sixty pounds.
I digress; on days when I justify using the car I am much more stressed out when I get home. Even driving here is not a big deal but time spent in the car, I find, is not nearly as relaxing or freeing as time spent on bike. In a car you don't get to take anything in, even the unpleasant stuff....like garbage in the creek, that is not such a problem.
I have railed on cars before (What a waste) I won't do it here. For a few minutes as I was riding the path along the creek I had a sense of Eugene as two separate cities ( of course in a city of 160,000? there are 160,000 different cities.) One that is car based (searching for parking spaces, waiting a traffic lights, buying gas etc) And one that is a little more relaxed; people getting around on bikes. Finding parking is not problem, all you need is something good to eat in order to fuel up. The exercise is usually enough to reduce stress. I know that Alpha is a lot happier now that she commutes to work everyday on her bike.
In reality (yes, thats right, reality rears up it's ugly head) when I was ten I would not have been pulling a bike trailer with two kids whose combined weight is somewhere around sixty pounds.
I digress; on days when I justify using the car I am much more stressed out when I get home. Even driving here is not a big deal but time spent in the car, I find, is not nearly as relaxing or freeing as time spent on bike. In a car you don't get to take anything in, even the unpleasant stuff....like garbage in the creek, that is not such a problem.
I have railed on cars before (What a waste) I won't do it here. For a few minutes as I was riding the path along the creek I had a sense of Eugene as two separate cities ( of course in a city of 160,000? there are 160,000 different cities.) One that is car based (searching for parking spaces, waiting a traffic lights, buying gas etc) And one that is a little more relaxed; people getting around on bikes. Finding parking is not problem, all you need is something good to eat in order to fuel up. The exercise is usually enough to reduce stress. I know that Alpha is a lot happier now that she commutes to work everyday on her bike.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Daddy My Heart...
"Daddy, my heart got out of my body and went away. It is walking down the street."
The four-year-old told me this after she waited too long for me to read to her and put her to bed.
The four-year-old told me this after she waited too long for me to read to her and put her to bed.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
A View FromThe Non-Alpha Male
Alpha Mom?
I hope the link works. You have to read the article before my commentary.....
.......
Did you read it?
Ok this appeared in our little local newspaper, which, is not the NY Times or the Portland Oregonian. It does a pretty good job of giving us the news.
But this article just rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons...... I have to wonder if the guy who wrote it realizes how totally ridiculous it is. My first reaction to was just one of world weary sighs. Then I launched into my usual hyperbole.
A type people bother me anyway and then we have to read about them too....so naturally after reading about this woman's lifestyle (I feel sorry for her friends that the guy interviewed) The best action I could come up with was to go puke on her front porch.
Then I thought about it....I would first have to find out where she lives, then I would have to figure out when I would have time to do such a thing. (seems like a lot of work) Then I would have to figure out a mode of transportation, (take the bike and put the kids in the Burley...oh ya then I would have the kids with me. That would slow down the escape. Or drive the car, I could put the old California plates on the Vanagon) With the kids along I would have to plan to go to the park and bring snacks. Of course if I were to puke I would have to have a recently full stomach and I would be in need of food afterward. If I have the kids we will have have snacks and possibly go to a cafe near the park.
No, puking on her porch is way too much work; I suppose if I were an Alpha parent I might be able to pull it off and even have time to play the wii (whatever that is) afterward, while giving the chef and maid the week off. But I am just a low achiever with no real shopping goals or marketing directions.
Maybe I will just blog about it.
I hope the link works. You have to read the article before my commentary.....
.......
Did you read it?
Ok this appeared in our little local newspaper, which, is not the NY Times or the Portland Oregonian. It does a pretty good job of giving us the news.
But this article just rubs me the wrong way for so many reasons...... I have to wonder if the guy who wrote it realizes how totally ridiculous it is. My first reaction to was just one of world weary sighs. Then I launched into my usual hyperbole.
A type people bother me anyway and then we have to read about them too....so naturally after reading about this woman's lifestyle (I feel sorry for her friends that the guy interviewed) The best action I could come up with was to go puke on her front porch.
Then I thought about it....I would first have to find out where she lives, then I would have to figure out when I would have time to do such a thing. (seems like a lot of work) Then I would have to figure out a mode of transportation, (take the bike and put the kids in the Burley...oh ya then I would have the kids with me. That would slow down the escape. Or drive the car, I could put the old California plates on the Vanagon) With the kids along I would have to plan to go to the park and bring snacks. Of course if I were to puke I would have to have a recently full stomach and I would be in need of food afterward. If I have the kids we will have have snacks and possibly go to a cafe near the park.
No, puking on her porch is way too much work; I suppose if I were an Alpha parent I might be able to pull it off and even have time to play the wii (whatever that is) afterward, while giving the chef and maid the week off. But I am just a low achiever with no real shopping goals or marketing directions.
Maybe I will just blog about it.
May Day
Happy May day!!!
Go out an support your Union.
Unions are great things.....They gave us the eight hour work day and some of us the 5 day work week. But sometimes they just seem to get in the way.
As at home parent I don't really need a Union, I am almost constantly in negotiation with my bosses. Sometimes I am the unsympathetic Dictator and other times I am just a clueless war monger. (If your brother tries to take your toys, Ruthie, hit him back but I might have to intervene by imposing sanctions. Then when your military is at its weakest I will invade for made up reasons, depose you then.....wait she's my daughter.)
Seriously folks. My only real experience with unions is through my wife. When she started teaching for OUSD(Oakland Unified School District) Things were looking really good for us; The new superintendent was raising teacher pay. Just months into my wifes first year or so, oops! the district discovered that they had lost 100 million dollars!! The sup gets tossed out with the bath water, and replaced with state appointed administrator. The Union says "oh gosh, the teachers would love to help. Here we"ll take a 4% pay cut. But you have to promise and cross your heart that the pay will get raised to present levels."
Of course the pay was never readjusted and the teachers protested and, it seemed, the teachers were threatening a strike for the whole 5 years my wife taught in Oakland. It made me wonder why the union leaders were even there.
Finally, last year, the state administrator and the union came to an agreement. (just before we left Oakland and the administrator moved to SoCal) They would "raise" teacher pay by 6%. My Wife, the math teacher, after looking at the numbers assured me and everyone we knew that they had not really received a raise at all. (of course I realize that without divulging the numbers non of this makes much sense)
Chronicle Article
Again, I think unions are a great idea but sometimes they end up screwing the workers and not supporting them.
Go out an support your Union.
Unions are great things.....They gave us the eight hour work day and some of us the 5 day work week. But sometimes they just seem to get in the way.
As at home parent I don't really need a Union, I am almost constantly in negotiation with my bosses. Sometimes I am the unsympathetic Dictator and other times I am just a clueless war monger. (If your brother tries to take your toys, Ruthie, hit him back but I might have to intervene by imposing sanctions. Then when your military is at its weakest I will invade for made up reasons, depose you then.....wait she's my daughter.)
Seriously folks. My only real experience with unions is through my wife. When she started teaching for OUSD(Oakland Unified School District) Things were looking really good for us; The new superintendent was raising teacher pay. Just months into my wifes first year or so, oops! the district discovered that they had lost 100 million dollars!! The sup gets tossed out with the bath water, and replaced with state appointed administrator. The Union says "oh gosh, the teachers would love to help. Here we"ll take a 4% pay cut. But you have to promise and cross your heart that the pay will get raised to present levels."
Of course the pay was never readjusted and the teachers protested and, it seemed, the teachers were threatening a strike for the whole 5 years my wife taught in Oakland. It made me wonder why the union leaders were even there.
Finally, last year, the state administrator and the union came to an agreement. (just before we left Oakland and the administrator moved to SoCal) They would "raise" teacher pay by 6%. My Wife, the math teacher, after looking at the numbers assured me and everyone we knew that they had not really received a raise at all. (of course I realize that without divulging the numbers non of this makes much sense)
Chronicle Article
Again, I think unions are a great idea but sometimes they end up screwing the workers and not supporting them.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Charlie is climbing.
Everything!!
A few weeks ago I heartily encouraged Charlie (the one year old) to climb the little "climbing wall" on the play structure at the park. Charlie more or less figured it out, he made it to the top, with a little help from me.
Either to impress me even more or he is just exploiting his new found skill to it's fullest; he has figured out that he can now climb the chairs and get on the kitchen table. While he was sitting on the table eating his sister's left over cereal I tried to explain to him that he was breaking the law. He just smiled and kept on doing what he was doing. I pulled him off the table and said "no more climbing on the table." he seemed intimidated....really.
The wife and I figure that he will continue to climb and eventually fall off. In thirty years he can work it out in therapy (sob.......why didn't they stop me.....sob)
A few weeks ago I heartily encouraged Charlie (the one year old) to climb the little "climbing wall" on the play structure at the park. Charlie more or less figured it out, he made it to the top, with a little help from me.
Either to impress me even more or he is just exploiting his new found skill to it's fullest; he has figured out that he can now climb the chairs and get on the kitchen table. While he was sitting on the table eating his sister's left over cereal I tried to explain to him that he was breaking the law. He just smiled and kept on doing what he was doing. I pulled him off the table and said "no more climbing on the table." he seemed intimidated....really.
The wife and I figure that he will continue to climb and eventually fall off. In thirty years he can work it out in therapy (sob.......why didn't they stop me.....sob)
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Not my favorite way to spend Spring Break.
I can remember all those years ago when I was in high school being excited about the prospects of Spring Break. Spending the whole week camping in Southern Utah or just hanging out with friends in town. Now Spring break is totally different.
One of the nice things about being a high school teacher the wife gets all the same breaks as the kids, so she has the week off. Last year we spent that week visiting Eugene OR to see if we wanted to move here. Then we visited her mom for the last couple of days before driving back to Oakland.
This time we are not having as much fun. On Monday I had a minor surgery that will hopefully prevent my wife from ever getting pregnant again. So, I have spent the last two days sitting around. (that does not sound so bad) I hate it, I would rather be spending my wife's time off traveling with her or actually getting a bunch of yard projects done.
Sure I am getting time off from taking care of the kids but it is difficult for me to not want to help out while my wife struggles to get things done and take care of the kids constant needs.
One of the nice things about being a high school teacher the wife gets all the same breaks as the kids, so she has the week off. Last year we spent that week visiting Eugene OR to see if we wanted to move here. Then we visited her mom for the last couple of days before driving back to Oakland.
This time we are not having as much fun. On Monday I had a minor surgery that will hopefully prevent my wife from ever getting pregnant again. So, I have spent the last two days sitting around. (that does not sound so bad) I hate it, I would rather be spending my wife's time off traveling with her or actually getting a bunch of yard projects done.
Sure I am getting time off from taking care of the kids but it is difficult for me to not want to help out while my wife struggles to get things done and take care of the kids constant needs.
Monday, March 19, 2007
21st Century Girl
Words that my three-year-old knows that I did not when I was six.
1) Sushi- This is number one. I knew about Chinese food, not Japanese. Of course in Utah no one that I knew of ate raw fish.
2) Cafe- Ok there were plenty of Cafes, at six I knew the word restaurant or Mc'Donalds. My daughters concept of cafe is very different from the one I had growing up. Cafes are where daddy gets lattes, which brings me to my next word.
3) Latte- I knew about coffee; to me it was something only Non-Mormons (bad people) drank. Lattes on the other hand were not something I knew anything about and I doubt that there was a single place in Utah( especially not Provo) in the mid seventies where one could be had. My six year old self would be utterly shocked that I partake of it.
4) cell phone- this one has less to do with culture and more to do with the advance of technology. I mean, my parents had no clue about PCs, VCRs etc.
I know there are many more words and concepts than this little list. I will re-post this when I hear them.
1) Sushi- This is number one. I knew about Chinese food, not Japanese. Of course in Utah no one that I knew of ate raw fish.
2) Cafe- Ok there were plenty of Cafes, at six I knew the word restaurant or Mc'Donalds. My daughters concept of cafe is very different from the one I had growing up. Cafes are where daddy gets lattes, which brings me to my next word.
3) Latte- I knew about coffee; to me it was something only Non-Mormons (bad people) drank. Lattes on the other hand were not something I knew anything about and I doubt that there was a single place in Utah( especially not Provo) in the mid seventies where one could be had. My six year old self would be utterly shocked that I partake of it.
4) cell phone- this one has less to do with culture and more to do with the advance of technology. I mean, my parents had no clue about PCs, VCRs etc.
I know there are many more words and concepts than this little list. I will re-post this when I hear them.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Wonders of Nature.
Today we went to the Willamette river park way and took a walk. While we were walking past the playground, after Ruthanne finished protesting our not going directly to the playground, she asked: " why did they build the river next to the playground" I asked why she thought they did. She replied " Playgrounds are a good place for rivers because they are beautiful".
I then explained that The river was there long before the playground. "you mean, like, TEN YEARS!" Longer......(she was stumped) " A Hundred? " At least. Ten is a really long time to her... one hundred is forever.
I then explained that The river was there long before the playground. "you mean, like, TEN YEARS!" Longer......(she was stumped) " A Hundred? " At least. Ten is a really long time to her... one hundred is forever.
Friday, February 23, 2007
What are televisions for?
During my sons last visit to the Dr. He (the Dr.) explained that television is just plain bad for kids under three. I knew that the medical community has been urging parents to cut back the amount of hours that kids spend watching the tube but I did not know that they were suggesting none to the younger set.
His explanation is that TV gets in the way of a toddlers main job, exploring. Well this is not a problem in our house, we don't have a television and have no plans of getting one. The kids are absolutely free to explore, make a mess, chop wood clean floors....o0h ya and surf endlessly on the Internet for hours.
No we don't have television but we do have high speed dsl. The wife was sick the other day, she spent most of here time looking at things like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX_dGiPV6P8
She is not the only one guilty, in our house, of spending a lot of time on the Internet. I am here a lot and I am possibly more addicted to it than I was to TV, the amount of actual time is much less.( I used to spend hours in front of television)
Fortunately though this does not affect the kids as much. They are not terribly interested or enthralled with much of the content that I view. (mostly blogs) So, while I am sitting here reading short blog articles about someone else's kid's pooping habits; my kids are running around exploring the medicine cabinet.......oooops.
His explanation is that TV gets in the way of a toddlers main job, exploring. Well this is not a problem in our house, we don't have a television and have no plans of getting one. The kids are absolutely free to explore, make a mess, chop wood clean floors....o0h ya and surf endlessly on the Internet for hours.
No we don't have television but we do have high speed dsl. The wife was sick the other day, she spent most of here time looking at things like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX_dGiPV6P8
She is not the only one guilty, in our house, of spending a lot of time on the Internet. I am here a lot and I am possibly more addicted to it than I was to TV, the amount of actual time is much less.( I used to spend hours in front of television)
Fortunately though this does not affect the kids as much. They are not terribly interested or enthralled with much of the content that I view. (mostly blogs) So, while I am sitting here reading short blog articles about someone else's kid's pooping habits; my kids are running around exploring the medicine cabinet.......oooops.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I Miss Oakland
Let me qualify that statement; I don't miss the loud cars, the traffic the thugs on High street and in city hall. (Maybe with Ron Dellums this will change, I did vote for him with the hope that he would bring some unity to this diverse city. (Real diversity is a difficult thing, especially when people would rather stick their tongues out at anyone whom is slightly different than have a civil conversation or debate.))
I digress, I don't miss being in traffic for four hours a day, and I don't miss Kyles mom. Mainly I miss all the people who were friends or becoming friends. I miss the East Bay Dads (and Camille), they are always good for breaking the isolation of full time parent hood and helping to expand your beer pallette. So far there is no Eugene dads, the two or three at home dads I have met did not seem at all interested in getting together. They seemed to enjoy being the ground breaking maverick at the Library story time. (This is where parents "network")
I miss the neighborhood playgroup, possibly filled with the hippest moms in the known universe. We almost never talked about accessorizing the baby or compared prices on strollers; if ever anyone bragged about a baby gear find it was because they got it for free or from GoodWill. The few moms that I have met don't seem interested in including us in any of their activities.
Ironically, a couple of the coolest parents I have met are also "from" the bay area. Could it be, that living in a place where there is so much negative crap going on, it makes you more willing to accept and even befriend someone who is a bit different?
I digress, I don't miss being in traffic for four hours a day, and I don't miss Kyles mom. Mainly I miss all the people who were friends or becoming friends. I miss the East Bay Dads (and Camille), they are always good for breaking the isolation of full time parent hood and helping to expand your beer pallette. So far there is no Eugene dads, the two or three at home dads I have met did not seem at all interested in getting together. They seemed to enjoy being the ground breaking maverick at the Library story time. (This is where parents "network")
I miss the neighborhood playgroup, possibly filled with the hippest moms in the known universe. We almost never talked about accessorizing the baby or compared prices on strollers; if ever anyone bragged about a baby gear find it was because they got it for free or from GoodWill. The few moms that I have met don't seem interested in including us in any of their activities.
Ironically, a couple of the coolest parents I have met are also "from" the bay area. Could it be, that living in a place where there is so much negative crap going on, it makes you more willing to accept and even befriend someone who is a bit different?
Friday, February 09, 2007
All About the One year old.
Charlie is now a bit past his 13 month birthday. (Strange how we classify babies birthdays; I mean, at 35 when you are asked how old you are you don't reply: " I'm Four-hundred-twenty Months old.") I didn't get it and I could not keep track with the first two kids. It's easier for me now) They change a lot from month to month besides when someone asks, especially another parent, it is a point of pride to tell them your kids age while they watch your child flawlessly run circles around their 14 month old. ( parents are not known to brag about their child's development. ("little Charlie is only thirteen months old and he has climbed Kilimanjaro, did I mention the counter-proof he wrote on string-theory.")
At 35 change does happen but is so subtle that it takes work to notice it. We don't always notice that we are changing until it seems huge. (nothing really drastic is happening. This blog was supposed to be about Charlie.)
Charlie started walking about a month before his first birthday and has gone form walking to running, dancing and spinning in circles. (funny how babies resemble Dead-Heads) When I took Chas to his one month check-up, the Doctor handed me one of those development check-listies. ( Does your child pick up things and put those things in things? Has your child figured out how to take those plastic "safety locks" off the Poison cupboard doors? (Chas does this, I am embarrassed to say I am proud that he has thwarted mommy and daddies Fascist ways).
The Dr. asked me if Chas was walking with help, ( I had Chas on my lap). It took me a second to reply; when I eventually did I said "no." As the Doctor told that I should not worry, Chas would learn to walk without help; Chas jumped out of my lap and ran to the exam table to inspect the electrical chord and socket. (That kid has perfect timing)
There is so much more I could say but, right now, Charlie is stuck in his chair at the kitchen table demanding to be fed.
At 35 change does happen but is so subtle that it takes work to notice it. We don't always notice that we are changing until it seems huge. (nothing really drastic is happening. This blog was supposed to be about Charlie.)
Charlie started walking about a month before his first birthday and has gone form walking to running, dancing and spinning in circles. (funny how babies resemble Dead-Heads) When I took Chas to his one month check-up, the Doctor handed me one of those development check-listies. ( Does your child pick up things and put those things in things? Has your child figured out how to take those plastic "safety locks" off the Poison cupboard doors? (Chas does this, I am embarrassed to say I am proud that he has thwarted mommy and daddies Fascist ways).
The Dr. asked me if Chas was walking with help, ( I had Chas on my lap). It took me a second to reply; when I eventually did I said "no." As the Doctor told that I should not worry, Chas would learn to walk without help; Chas jumped out of my lap and ran to the exam table to inspect the electrical chord and socket. (That kid has perfect timing)
There is so much more I could say but, right now, Charlie is stuck in his chair at the kitchen table demanding to be fed.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
blogging
As is usual for me, I have been trying to write a thought provoking entry on drinking during play groups, nothing is happening. " Are you dead upstairs"? you ask. Maybe because I haven't written anything in so long.......(Charlie be gentle with the cat!)...Crises averted.....where was I..hmmm... Oh ya .....(Ruthie! Put your diaper in the...No I don't want it....put in the garbage...in the ....you can you are a big girl) ....ok yes something thought provoking... The phenomenal and the absolute are two sides of the same thing, they are one mind...wait that's not it.
Something about why it is ok for parents to have a drink during playdates. Forget it, I need another cup of coffee. It's about socializing, it won't damage the kids if they see their parents drinking.
Unless, the parents are alcoholics of course; and the drinking is so excessive that the parents can't take care of the kids. Or let's say that people bring the kids to the "playdate" and plug their poor kids into the dvd player, and the only actual playing going on is between the parents.
Don't kill the poor kids brains, let them play, they will learn a lot more if they are free to run around.
Enough said.
Something about why it is ok for parents to have a drink during playdates. Forget it, I need another cup of coffee. It's about socializing, it won't damage the kids if they see their parents drinking.
Unless, the parents are alcoholics of course; and the drinking is so excessive that the parents can't take care of the kids. Or let's say that people bring the kids to the "playdate" and plug their poor kids into the dvd player, and the only actual playing going on is between the parents.
Don't kill the poor kids brains, let them play, they will learn a lot more if they are free to run around.
Enough said.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Testimony Meeting
(I have a few short stories I worked on during a writing class; here is one I would love to publish.)
I wanted to beleive .
The church choir sings "Put your shoulder to the wheel." The bishop prays. He welcomes the congregation to come up in turn to bare their testimonies. After a few long seconds they begin to trickle up.
I am sitting in the pew thinking about Darth Vader's army and wondering if their spaceship will make it here. What would happen if the Empire tries to take over Earth? Would Luke Skywalker and the Rebellion save us?
Church members get up and speak about how God has touched them. They talk about things they have done that make them feel they are not worthy of Jesus' love. Everyone has a slightly different story but they always find that they do deserve his love.
Darth Vader could not kill his son. He killed Emporer Palpatine in order to save him. Vader's love for his son brings him back to being Anakin again.
A little boy gets up to bare his testimony. His mom comes along to help. She whispers in his ear, then he speaks : "I know Joseph Smith is a true prophet. I know Jesus loves me. I am grateful for my mom." He then realizes that he is standing in front of the whole congregation and freezes up. His mom picks him up and carries him back to their pew.
I want to get up. I walk up the aisle take the stand and talk into the microphone.
" Darth Vader is just like Jesus." I say.
My face turns red, palms start to sweat. My stomach turns into a knot.
"He let himself die to save his son... Luke Skywalker is us!" The people in the fornt row give me unsure grins. The other boys in the congregation start to snigger.
I stop. The congregation is silent, every exhale I take fills the air with my nervousness. I walk quickly from the podium and out of the church into the bright summer day.
It is warm, I loosen my tie and roll up my sleeves. I look at the mountains towering over our church. Clean and shimmering in the dry summer air. I wish I were up there, in the trees, drinking snow melt.
My sister appears from inside the church, she finds me and tries to bring me in. I sit defiantly on the freshly watered grass.
I tell her that I just wanted to talk but all I could think about was Star Wars.
I wanted to beleive .
The church choir sings "Put your shoulder to the wheel." The bishop prays. He welcomes the congregation to come up in turn to bare their testimonies. After a few long seconds they begin to trickle up.
I am sitting in the pew thinking about Darth Vader's army and wondering if their spaceship will make it here. What would happen if the Empire tries to take over Earth? Would Luke Skywalker and the Rebellion save us?
Church members get up and speak about how God has touched them. They talk about things they have done that make them feel they are not worthy of Jesus' love. Everyone has a slightly different story but they always find that they do deserve his love.
Darth Vader could not kill his son. He killed Emporer Palpatine in order to save him. Vader's love for his son brings him back to being Anakin again.
A little boy gets up to bare his testimony. His mom comes along to help. She whispers in his ear, then he speaks : "I know Joseph Smith is a true prophet. I know Jesus loves me. I am grateful for my mom." He then realizes that he is standing in front of the whole congregation and freezes up. His mom picks him up and carries him back to their pew.
I want to get up. I walk up the aisle take the stand and talk into the microphone.
" Darth Vader is just like Jesus." I say.
My face turns red, palms start to sweat. My stomach turns into a knot.
"He let himself die to save his son... Luke Skywalker is us!" The people in the fornt row give me unsure grins. The other boys in the congregation start to snigger.
I stop. The congregation is silent, every exhale I take fills the air with my nervousness. I walk quickly from the podium and out of the church into the bright summer day.
It is warm, I loosen my tie and roll up my sleeves. I look at the mountains towering over our church. Clean and shimmering in the dry summer air. I wish I were up there, in the trees, drinking snow melt.
My sister appears from inside the church, she finds me and tries to bring me in. I sit defiantly on the freshly watered grass.
I tell her that I just wanted to talk but all I could think about was Star Wars.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Another Edifying post about me!!
I am 44% Punk Rock.
Well, I may know what punk is, but... Okay maybe some people think I am punk, but is that enough? Nope.I already knew this. And I did not have to take yer #@$$%$ test to find out. I don't have the Ramones vinyl but I do on tape. Now I am going to put safety pins in my ear lobes and listen to 7 seconds.
I am 51% Goth.
Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a good chance I am bi. Freakiness pumps through my viens, but I can still laugh at myself.Yes I "was" Goth....And I would like to point out that I was More Goth than this Idiotic test. I mean what is The Crow and why did they not ask any questions about the Hunger instead? Now I am going to put on my Bauhaus album, burn some candles and read the Raven.
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