Monday, November 26, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving...

I always feel a little guilty for the days leading up to Thanksgiving. We eat pretty well at our house, I don't mean steak and potatoes well, but we are far from starving.
Whenever my daughter tells me that she is starving, I tell her that she does not know what that word means, and probably will never experience starvation.

Our average dinner consists of a salad, some sort of stir-fry with lots of veggies and rice or potatoes, rice and a variety of beans. Sometimes I make an enchilada type dish or I will buy a roasted chicken for dinner.

Usually, there is enough left over for the adults to have a small portion of seconds, and my wife to take some for lunch the next day. Portions are not piles of food but small, probably a quarter of what you might get at a place like Applebees.

I felt the guilt start to come on when I did my first Thanksgiving shopping trip. My shopping cart was already pretty full when I went to look at the turkeys. The ten and sixteen pounders looked too small, I grabbed a 23 pound one and had to shuffle stuff around in order to get it in the cart.

It was then that I realized that I had enough food to feed a rather large family used to eating only rice for dinner. It was even more than enough for us; we were, by the way, only entertaining two other people.

The guilt stems from the idea that, normally I have enough, but on Thanksgiving it turns to more than enough. Is this a way for me to give thanks? To sit and over-eat while I know that there are thousands of people who can't conceive of what I eat on an average day. That I am lucky enough to not have to suffer in the way that the malnourished suffer?

I will feel grateful, when I will realize, that I have not had to grocery shop for a week and a half because of all the leftover turkey.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Anyone who has read this blog knows that I am not in the least,

I read an article written by a relatively new Stay at home dad, former New York Times foreign correspondent Charlie Leduff

His experiences as a Stay At Home Dad are pretty typical, turned away at the Yoga studio, (did not happen to me) hanging out with the nannies at the playground. (I once went to a playground, with the daughter, where the only person who would carry on a conversation with me was a cute, young, French au pair.)

I will stop myself before I fall into a pit of Hyperbole about how bad the social life of a SAHD is. (really bad acronym if you asked me) It really is not that bad.
The best part of the article, is the rebuttle from Judith Warner on her domestic disturbances blog.....It gets even better, The comments
were way better than her view that parents are engaged in some type of warfare.

The comment that I would like to comment on is this one:

I was a stay-at-home Dad, (ie S.A.D.) for 6 months. My wife, along with the wife of a good friend, had babies about the same time, and my friend and I decided we would pal around NYC taking care of our kids since we both have freelancing professions, and the wives have 9-to-5s.
We were not cut out for it. After 6 months, we both sprung for nannies, and I can tell you that the sound of the nanny arriving at 8am is like hearing Mozart playing live in my living room.
Please forgive the sexism, but changing diapers, making bottles, cleaning up spitup, bundling up baby, putting them to sleep, soothing their cries for 10-12 hours a day is just not a man’s work. At least not for this man. We began to resent our kids and our wives.
Nothing ever made us want to work harder than having kids - to work at our chosen professions, to provide. Every diaper became another 5 minues away from what we were supposed to be doing with our lives. A word of warning to potential S.A.D.s - you may not be cut out for it.

— Posted by UseProtection

Of course, I agree with this guy, some are just not cut out for parenting. Some people can't handle life outside of the everyday ego gratification they got from their high paying jobs. You start taking care of kids, you get judged for not being at work and you don't get a paycheck or a pat on the back for all your hard work. (This is the extreme judgmental side of me.)

His mistake is assuming that one can be cut out for parenting....No one is cut out for parenting....It may come easier for some, but it is something you have to work at and nothing can really prepare you for it.

Dude, you just gave up to early the first six months are the hardest.