Monday, April 20, 2009


Over the past six years of being a stay-at-home parent I have heard and read many different views on the stay-at-home dad trend. It's a fad, men don't belong in the home, you should be at work once someone even said to me " personally I don't have anything against stay-at-home dads, but I can't imagine a woman marrying someone who wanted to be a stay-at-home parent. (nothing against stay at home dads...oh yes and I am sexist) I asked him how he imagined I became a father in the first place....he did not have an answer for me. Of course there is also the awkward silence from other parents (yes, I do have a chip on my shoulder about that.) when you are the only guy in the playground or class in the middle of the day.

Really, comments about what I, as man, should be doing besides taking care of my kids full time, are few and far between; they don't affect me much either. Such comments expose the commenter as being insecure about their place and an adherence to societal rules regardless of the circumstances of the person who is the recipient of the comment.

When I decided to take the the raising of youngun's I was not concerned about who would normally be staying home with the kids, I was not worried about fitting into playgroups, or being the odd man out at the park or story time.
No, it really had nothing to do with being on the edge, changing norms or being rebellious. It was a very pragmatic decision. I merely was responding to what was in front of me.


Rabacal said...

I can imagine that you are an awesome dad! I only wish we lived near each other so that we could hang out at the park together and tell everyone else to suck it!

Beat Dad said...

Well, the atmosphere at parks is not that but....However your solidarity is much appreciated.

Matawheeze said...

I'd be glad to explain to anyone who'd listen how you and your wide proved to me that traditional gender-based jobs were sometimes bunk. You are a terrific father... and a great son-in-law.

(signed) Your MIL

Tawn said...

Interesting that people would get so hung up about who gets to stay at home with the kids. I say as long as there can be a parent at home who cares if it's mom or dad? In this day and age it really boils down to who can bring home the most scratch. A buddy of mine has nowhere near the earning power of his wife, so he parents their 2 young'uns (I hate the term "babysitting", fathers don't babysit they parent.). So kudos to stay at home dads and moms! It's pretty ballsy to have the guts to raise our own kids.